Brainwashing:
CULTure Classes and a $19 Summer
Today I am talking about brainwashing and toxic restaurant culture. This subject is important to me because I have been involved in toxic workplace environments that I never thought I’d fall prey to. There is a fine line between taking pride in your work and creating systems and structures to make things run and creating a full-blown cult like organization.
I started working for a relatively new restaurant group in 2014. The space was different and industrial, the staff was young and cool, the owner was extremely passionate about the concept. At face value, it seemed like the ideal restaurant. I interviewed and I’m pretty sure got hired that day. They interviewed me for a patio position. They were about to open a huge patio and needed to staff that part of the restaurant. I knew that I probably wouldn’t get any downstairs shifts unless they were in a pinch.
I started in April. My first shift was dead. I made $0. I didn’t think anything of it; the patio was new, and people were still discovering it. Second shift, maybe $5. I thought it was a bummer. What kept me positive was the managers dialogue. Turning everything into a lesson and reminding me what an honor it was to work for such an innovative restaurant group.
This continued and before I knew it, it was the middle of the summer. My Friday and Saturday PM shifts were lucrative. One Saturday I made $450 which was great. What wasn’t great were all the other patio shifts I had where I took home $0. I only made $19 dollars from my lunch shifts that summer. The money aside, I missed holidays, time with my family, etc. to make $0.
All the while, I was told that it was such a privilege to work there, and I believed it. I was so naive and brainwashed, I believed that being asked to stand somewhere for 6 hours for zero dollars was ok. Not only ok, admirable.
I could go on and on about the situation but it’s not worth the time. What I do want to talk about is why owners and operators think it’s ok to ask people to work for free. Sometimes we were expected to clean and organize for no pay. My guess is that no one ever speaks up about it because they are terrified of being shunned from the group.
That’s another aspect of this group that kept people “in line”. If you asked any questions or ruffled any feathers you were socially shunned. Everyone who worked there was around the same age and everyone hung out outside of work. The second you showed any concern about your money or time or how things were run you had a target on your back. This is important. There are so many people working in establishments that run on fear and the saddest part is that it’s extremely effective. I was an excellent employee. I got to work early, cleaned, I learned the menus, I smiled. I did a really good job.
As time went on, the restaurant group started working on a new concept. The managers were picking who they thought were the best (most easily manipulated) servers to go to their new concept. I was shocked to get picked. The chef hated me, and I just assumed I’d be at the original concept as long as I worked for the restaurant group. I was so excited. I thought it was such an honor to be one of the chosen ones. We started training a few weeks later. The training days were long, but I think we were paid, and I enjoyed it because I was working with my friends, and I believed that I was elite because I was picked to be on the opening team.
We opened and it was the “shiny new thing”. Dinner was busy but mostly because the space was small and congested. The money from PM shifts was ok, nothing to write home about, but the lunch shifts were abysmal. I made no money working lunch. It was so bad I cried at work, and I never cry at work. I had no money, and I was asking my parents for money. It was horrible, but again, don’t ruffle feathers, it’s an honor to work here. After a few months I finally got up the courage to quit. I quite literally could not keep working there because I was broke.
I think about how much time I wasted because I did not have the confidence to stand up for myself. I was completely brainwashed into thinking that working for no money was ok. It’s a terrible situation I wouldn’t wish on anybody. The pressure from management to keep quiet and fall in line was probably the worst part. I still cannot believe I thought those people had my best interest at heart. If I could give young people starting out in the service industry one piece of advice, it would be to do extensive research on any restaurant before applying for a job. If I had taken a step back and paid more attention during my interview and training, I would have noticed that this place was more of a cult than a restaurant. The employees treated the owner like he was some kind of profit, they would hang on his every word. You were required to attend “culture classes” which were just three-hour long rants from the owner about how he was changing the world. The women employees were living out all their daddy issue psychosis via idolizing their male superiors. Male employees were given the benefit of the doubt when they drank to excess and behaved poorly, the women were chastised if they so much as stumbled after a night out. Everyone pretended to be open and welcoming to all people; in reality, they were homophobic, sexist and master manipulators. If I could go back and do it all over again, here are some things I would have done to protect myself:
1. Research the restaurant group. Google the owner, talk to current employees, dine at the restaurant at least three times.
2. Do they offer PTO, vacation and sick days?
3. Do they have a high turnover rate?
4. Is there a system in place for $0 shifts? Is there a guaranteed hourly minimum?
5. How long has the current GM been with the company?
6. What is their “hospitality style”? Do they let the guests dictate the experience, or is the experience appropriately curated by the staff?
7. Does the owner own other concepts?
8. If there are multiple concepts, will you be asked to work at multiple concepts.
9. You can’t legally ask about the average age of the employees, but you can observe.
10. Pay attention how people talk to each other. Be on the lookout for gas lighting.
11. Do you get breaks and how are double handled?
12. Ask about sections. If there is a more “advanced” section, ask how they assign sections fairly.
13. How long does training take?
14. Is there room for growth i.e. how do you become a shift lead or head server/do they have head servers or is everyone on the same level.
15. Observe how the employees interact with guests.
16. Is there an HR department for the restaurant group, if there is not an HR department, ask how disciplinary matters are handled.
17. Are there specific personal grooming requirements.
18. Are there required all staff meetings. How many do they have a quarter, what are they for, approximately how long do they last.
19. Will extra work like organizing, trash removal, cleaning etc. be required and will you be compensated for your work.
20. Is there a cap on how many hours you can work in a week?
21. What is the procedure if you get hurt at work?
22. Do they offer health benefits?
23. How often does the menu change?
24. What POS system do they use?
25. How often do you get paid?
Another piece of advice is if something feels wrong, it probably is wrong. Have the courage to stand up for yourself. If you have a genuine concern about your physical, mental, emotional or financial health and your superior tries to explain it away, it is a good indication that you need to find another place to work. Unfortunately, bad behavior and disrespect often go unchecked in the service industry. While the industry is improving every day, there is still so much room for improvement. You should never be afraid to advocate for yourself.